What Are You Talking About?!

Could you walk a mile in her shoes?

Could you walk a mile in her shoes?

We all have those people in our lives who just can’t ever seem to put themselves in someone else’s shoes.  You know what I mean – the rich person who wants to know why the homeless can’t “just get a job.”  The skinny girl who says, “why do fat people let themselves get that way?”  The natural born tech-wizard who rolls his eyes at you when you ask him to explain the difference between USB and RGB.

I try… I really, consciously try to NOT be that person. I try, very hard, to understand where other people are coming from.

This week I was dealing with a customer service mix up and I found myself calling the guy I who had originally helped me, “an idiot” (not to his face – just as I was stomping around my house having a temper tantrum.) for losing my paperwork.  I was truly angry with him.  Then I realized that I’ve made the same kind of mistakes myself.  Haven’t we all?  The poor man is seriously over-worked and under-paid and… no… he’s not THE BEST at what he does.  But neither am I, so who am I to judge him?

That said, there are some people for whom I have great respect, but with whom I simply cannot relate.  They say things that are so far outside the paradigm of my life that it’s like they’re not even speaking my language.

So here it is.  My big confession.  If you are a person who says these things, I may love you but I do not truly understand you.  I have no idea what you are talking about so I simply can’t relate.

1) “I can’t wait to go for a run.”

You can’t wait?  Why not? Is there a scary guy with a knife coming for you at this moment?  Even so… wouldn’t it just be easier to pick up your laptop and throw it at him?  I can ALWAYS wait to go for a run.

pie and lattes

2) “I couldn’t go to sleep because I knew there was a mess.”

I can’t even tell you how many times I have gone to sleep BECAUSE there was a mess.  In sleep, the mess goes away.  Now if you said, “I can’t stand to be awake because of the mess… well… maybe I can relate to that.  But then again, can’t you just go to the mall or somewhere where other people keep the world tidy?

I am a freaking AWESOME mom!

I am a freaking AWESOME mom!

3) “I was so upset I couldn’t eat.”

Obviously you have never tasted either chocolate nor macaroni and cheese.

stress and sweets quote

4) “I love a great slasher movie.”

Do you know what is more entertaining to me than watching the most evil concoctions of our mind ripping poor innocent victims to shreds in a great splashing bloody display of horrific violence?  Uhm… pretty much ANYTHING.

Have you seen this movie?  This is my kind of slasher movie!

Have you seen this movie? This is my kind of slasher movie!

5) “I don’t like dogs.”

Right. Because cute fuzzy creatures of fluffiness with infinite loyalty and boundless love are hard to like.  Yes. Some of them are mean but that’s like saying, “I don’t like people” because there are a few jerks in the world or saying, “I don’t like food” because some foods don’t suit your taste.  Dogs are awesome.

This is my sister's dog.  If that furry face doesn't melt your heart a little I have to wonder if you live in a cave above the town of Whoville.

This is my sister’s dog. If that furry face doesn’t melt your heart a little I have to wonder if you live in a cave above the town of Whoville.

6) “The 80’s sucked.”

Seriously, you must be joking!  The whole world was a blur of fantastic neon and big hair and fabulous ankle boots.  There were cartoons every Saturday morning and Bon Jovi was on the radio and MTV played actual music videos.  We played Pac Man and Pong and passed notes that we actually wrote by hand on bits of paper.  Granted… the 80s were a hippie nightmare.  We all spent 10 years drenched in chemicals and walking through a haze of cloroflourocarbons but… still…  I’m pretty sure that the sheer coolness level of the DeLorian made up for that.


In the 80's everyone could dance. It's not just that we COULD.  We had to. And it was awesome.

In the 80’s everyone danced. It’s not just that we COULD dance. We HAD to dance. And we were awesome.

Tell me…. what is the thing that you just can’t relate to?

Are you, too, seeking to save the earth, promote world peace and raise productive citizens without expending too much effort?

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About Elizabeth in MI

I'm a married mama with 2 beautiful step children, 2 from my own belly, and the best husband in the universe! I work part time at my church as a secretary and youth director and I truly enjoy 3 hour naps and reading fiction beneath my education level. Write me a note, any time at lazyhippiemama@hotmail.com. I'd love to hear from you.

25 responses »

  1. Haha! #3 definitely spoke to me. The number of times I’ve made a box of Annie’s mac and cheese at 4pm because the day was over-the-top crazy…let’s just say the grocery store probably thinks I still have young kids at home!

    • I know! My kids don’t even like it that much but sometimes they need to accept that Mama needs a little help. hahaha! And now that my local Spartan store started carrying Annie’s and their own organic brand I don’t even feel (as) guilty about putting it on the table. 🙂

  2. I have actually had times in my life where I could relate to situations #2 & #3, just they were the exception and not the rule. And 1989 was a really good year. I think that was the year I discovered all the glory of 80’s at once. And hit puberty. Are those 2 events linked, do you think?

    • I think that the link is distinctly possible. While there were many good things in the 80s for kids (Smurfs! Fraggles! Light Bright!) it all took on a whole new depth of meaning when puberty struck. 1989 may have been the year I figured out Olivia Newton John wasn’t talking about exercise.

  3. Clue is my favorite movie! I remember watching it on repeat when I had my tonsils out as a kid. I can’t relate to people who have squeaky clean houses- a little mess makes it look lived in, right? *pushes dust bunnies out of sight*

    • It’s one of my favorites, too. I’ve seen it 1,000 times and I laugh out loud every single time. My husband will frequently, just randomly, say things like, “no man in his right mind would be alone with you in a room, Mrs. White!”

    • Thanks! Aren’t the shoes nuts? I’m not sure I could even stand up, let alone walk in them! And why would anyone want to? I have sneakers and boots and I’m ok with that.

  4. I can totally relate to just about everything. Except the dog thing. I’m just not a pet person. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to clean up the hair that sheds off of them, or clean up their poo, I have enough messes to clean up, I don’t want to add another one. Your blog posts usually make me laugh. Keep it up. And I just wanted to let you know that I have nominated you for the Sunshine Award. You can check it out here: http://controllingcraziness.blogspot.com/2013/11/sunshine-award.html

    • Oh, I can totally understand not wanting to LIVE with a dog. But not liking them. I mean… they’re just so fluffy and dopey! 🙂 Thanks for coming by and a very special thanks for the award. You made my morning!

  5. I love CLUE! Such a great movie, and my type of slasher filck, too 🙂 Finally catching up with Weds. Boost thread- I linked up and never went back to visit anyone 🙂 So glad I did, though- this gave me a nice evening chuckle. 🙂

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